Over the last 15 years, social media, smartphones, and other digital technologies such as artificial intelligence (AI) — including chatbots and recommendation algorithms — have become embedded in the lives of children and youth. These technologies are reshaping how children and youth connect, learn, and spend time. During that same period, researchers have documented significant increases in anxiety, depression, loneliness, and self-harm among young people, ages 13 to 17, as shown in recent survey data and long-term research on youth well-being.
While digital platforms can offer opportunities for connection, growing evidence suggests that social media can also negatively affect children’s behavioral health. These concerns have prompted national attention, including the U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on Social Media and Youth Mental Health, which calls for stronger safeguards and system-level responses from policymakers and technology companies — emphasizing that responsibility extends beyond individual families.
In New Jersey, this issue has gained momentum, with recent policy efforts and local initiatives reflecting growing concerns about the impacts of social media on youth well-being. An executive order established the Office of Youth Online Mental Health Safety and Awareness within the Department of Health to better understand the impact of social media on children and youth’s well-being. State legislation was also passed to support phone-free school environments, reflecting a growing recognition of how constant connectivity can affect students’ attention, learning, and social and emotional well-being. At the local level, Middlesex County convened cross-sector stakeholders — local school districts, community-based organizations, behavioral health providers, educators, public health leaders, and family advocates — to examine the impacts of social media on children and youth and explore prevention-focused strategies.
To explore the impact of social media on children and youth, CHCS hosted an all-day convening with the support of Middlesex County. At the convening, Stephanie Marcello, PhD, Assistant Vice President of Academics, Integration and Innovation, Behavioral Health Research and Training Institute & Chief Psychologist at Rutgers University Behavioral Health Care, presented on the impact of social media and technology on children’s behavioral health and offered insights on the importance of connection, free play, and developmentally appropriate boundaries in supporting healthy development for children and youth. This blog post builds on that conversation, highlighting Dr. Marcello’s insights on how families, providers, educators, and communities can help children and youth develop healthy relationships with social media and technology.
Q. How can parents support healthy child development in a digital world?
A. Play is essential for children’s development and one of the primary ways children learn. Through unstructured, face-to-face play children practice social problem-solving, emotional regulation, and resilience in relatively low-risk settings. These everyday experiences literally shape the developing brain in ways that cannot be replicated through screens. When children spend more time in online spaces and less time engaging with peers face-to-face, they lose opportunities to develop these foundational skills. At the same time, digital platforms can expose children to content their developing brains are not yet ready to process, increasing emotional stress and vulnerability.
Parenting often means holding a balance between protecting children and allowing them to grow. When fears and anxiety lead adults to overprotect, children can miss important opportunities to learn independence and build confidence. Even unintentionally, this can send the message that they cannot navigate challenges on their own.
Q. What is the neuroscience behind how social media affects attention and learning?
A. Research on “brain drain” shows that the mere presence of smartphones — even when they aren’t being used — can reduce attention, focus, and working memory. This makes it harder to concentrate on tasks that require sustained thinking.
Over time, constant exposure to fast paced and fragmented digital content can interfere with how the brain learns and processes information. When technology or AI does more of the thinking for us, our brains have fewer chances to build memory and attention skills. Learning requires cognitive effort. When AI consistently summarizes, writes, or solves problems for children, they may miss opportunities to develop critical thinking, memory retravel, and problem-solving skills. This can create a cycle where we need increasing stimulation just to stay engaged or regulated, complicating how we understand and respond to attention-related challenges.
Q. How does social media shape youth’s sense of identity and connection?
A. Youth are developmentally wired to seek connection and begin forming their identities outside of their families. Peer relationships, belonging, and how they are perceived by others take on heightened importance during this stage.
Social media can offer a sense of connection, but it also increases social comparison and exposure to negative feedback. These experiences can be deeply internalized at a time when youth are still developing self-esteem and emotional regulation. It’s important to emphasize that the desire for connection is not the problem — it’s actually one of the strongest protective factors for youth mental health. The concern is whether the digital spaces where that connection occurs are supporting healthy development or whether they are replacing the kinds of face-to-face relationships that are most protective for healthy emotional development.
Q. Why does modeling healthy technology use matter more than simply setting rules?
A. Children learn far more from what adults do than from what they say. When caregivers are attentive, emotionally present, and engaged, they help create a foundation of safety and connection. Digital devices can easily compete for our attention.
When adults are frequently distracted — even unintentionally — children may interpret it as a lack of interest or importance. Being mindful about putting phones down during shared time is a powerful way to model healthy boundaries. Managing our own stress and technology use also shows children what balanced, respectful relationships look like.
Q. How is emerging technology, including AI companions and chatbots, changing the digital landscape for youth?
A. These technologies deserve close attention, particularly because many teens are already using them daily. While some are marketed as educational or supportive, they often involve constant interaction that can replace meaningful human connection.
Many AI platforms are intentionally designed to maximize engagement through personalized responses and continuous interaction. Like social media, these systems can activate reward pathways in the brain, making them highly reinforced. Some teens turn to AI for companionship, validation, dating advice, or even guidance around self-harm, which raises serious safety concerns if use isn’t monitored. The risk is that children begin forming emotional attachments to technology instead of turning to parents, caregivers, or trusted adults who play a critical role in providing support and guidance. Unlike human relationships, AI companions are designed to be constantly available, agreeable, and responsive. For adolescents who are lonely or struggling emotionally, this can make it increasingly difficult to choose the messiness, but also the growth, that comes from real human relationships.
Q. Why is it important to treat the impact of social media on youth as a public health issue, and what role should systems play?
A. There is strong evidence that social media can harm children’s mental health and overall well-being, which means this issue cannot be left to families alone. Schools, communities, policymakers, and state agencies all have a role to play. Just as we have safe standards for car seats, playgrounds, and medications designed for our children, we should expect similar protections for digital environments that shape children’s development.
We need stronger oversight and accountability for companies designing platforms that affect children and youth. State and national policies, education efforts, and regulations should reflect what we now know about developmental risks. Other countries regulate social media differently, and those platforms look very different from what U.S. children experience. States can also invest in digital literacy, promote more positive online content, support vulnerable youth, and partner with phone and internet providers to help families set limits and use parental controls effectively.
Q. If there is one message you want parents and caregivers to take away, what would it be?
A. I encourage families to delay access to smartphones, social media, and AI technologies until children are developmentally ready. That means no smartphones before high school, no social media before age 16, and avoiding AI powered toys or chatbots for children. Limiting access helps protect children from content and spaces they are not developmentally ready to manage.
Children don’t need smartphones to stay safe or connected. Basic phones can handle calls and texts, and schools are always reachable through the main office. Free play, phone-free schools, and opportunities for independence are essential for healthy development. For children with anxiety in particular, constant access to phones can actually make symptoms worse by preventing them from learning how to self-soothe and cope.
Q. Where should parents start if they want to make changes?
A. Parents don’t need to be perfect — they just need to be intentional. Start small. Create phone-free meals. Protect bedtime. Encourage outdoor play. Delay devices for as long as possible. Be curious about what your child is doing online. Children are far more likely to accept healthy limits when they feel understood and connected to the adults in their lives.
The goal isn’t to make technology be seen as the enemy. Our goal is to ensure that technology supports healthy development rather than replacing the relationships and experiences that children need to thrive.
